Him
by Grissom1
Summary: Fanfic challenge- so why is Sara coming back and where is Grissom? One shot. Read and enjoy. Grissom/Sara romance always.


**Him**

This is in response to Season Ten Fanfic Challenge from GSRforeverlove (Why aren't you a member?)

"Do you fly often? This is my third flight, but it feels like the first. Do you think we'll get a drink or a bag of peanuts? I don't usually eat peanuts but..."

The passenger's voice continued as Sara turned away

Sara pressed her head against the window of the plane.

It was cool.

She still felt hot from the jungle.

She had forgotten what cool felt like.

She almost shivered at the thought of never feeling the "hotness" again…like the intensity of his stare or the sudden hot flash that coursed through her body the moment he spooned his body up next to hers.

Despite the humidity, he had not changed his sleeping habits, always curling up next to her.

With his breath warm against her skin, he'd whisper his love to her.

It was something he had begun saying after Natalie had almost taken that chance from him.

It could be 120 degrees, and she would long for that embrace.

The hours that passed brought them further and further away from one another.

She refused to second- guess herself for another moment. Although, she had done nothing but that since she stepped onto the plane without him.

Here she sat on a plane headed back to Vegas….without him.

"I meant to bring a magazine. It's funny how…"

She closed her eyes trying to hide from the pestering passenger who had insisted upon chatting the moment she took her seat.

She had no desire to talk.

She hadn't really talked to anyone else except Grissom for the last several months.

And, talk they did.

They slowly analyzed every hurtful word until there was nothing left but whispered apologies and moments of blissful make up sex.

Oh, each was to blame for the time they had spent apart.

It had been some of the most soul searching moments that took them farther than either had ever dreamed.

From Vegas to Costa Rica, they had traveled separately to eventually join in more ways than one.

They had accepted the inevitable.

They were meant to be together.

Each needed the other.

It was as plain and simple as that. Yet it took them months and thousands of miles to sift through the evidence of their lives.

The time apart had been brutal and painful.

Time had been lost that could never be regained.

Things had been said or left unsaid.

Insecurities had been reignited.

The first time she left Vegas she felt broken by her past and Natalie.

She had left him a note and fled.

Neither really understood why she had left the way she did.

She could have sat down and explained to him rather than taking the coward's way out. She slipped away when she knew he could not follow.

No, she knew he would not follow because of what she had said.

She was asking for time, and he was giving it to her. However, distance became a problem.

She observed from a distance as he went through the motions. He ignored the warning signs that he was burning out.

She saw it. She tried to warn him gently. Yet, he could not or, more importantly, would not listen.

His grief for Warrick went far too deep. It reminded him why he preferred evidence rather than dwell into people's lives.

**This** hurt.

It hurt much like the time when he had almost lost Sara because of a slip of a touch that a deranged woman had caught.

This was life's lesson to Gilbert Grissom.

To love someone meant the risk of losing everything for which he had ever worked.

Oh, it wasn't that damn lab.

It was being free without feelings.

He had feelings, thanks to Sara Sidle.

He had risked everything. He let his heart guide him rather than science, and he had found that he was not too late to do something…**about this.**

He had even let her leave when she felt she was going to self-destruct.

He vowed to remain faithful to the only person he had ever loved.

He was stoic about it.

He buried himself in his work and craved for an email or a phone call from her so he could remind himself that he was not alone…well, sort of not alone.

Then…Warrick died.

Through the years, he had let the others build a family around him.

They were his family.

Now he had lost one.

Warrick's death had been brutal on Grissom's heart.

He had held his friend as he died, feeling the life leave his body.

His pain was almost unbearable until he turned and saw her standing there.

**His** Sara had come home even if it were not for him but for another loved one, Warrick.

Death had become more personal.

He held her.

He hoped that she would see how much he needed her and come home.

She saw firsthand what he hid from the others.

She knew the signs of burn out, and she saw what he refused to admit.

The symptoms were obvious.

Just a year ago, they had been hers.

He was forgetting things and could not seem to think straight.

His emotions were not his own.

He reacted too deeply or seemed detached from cases.

He avoided his phone every time it rang, knowing it would be the lab summoning him to another crime scene.

**His** Sara had come home even if it was to face death once more.

He didn't care.

She was there, and he needed her.

He felt betrayed for his faithfulness when she told him that she would not be staying. He was forced to accept that she might never return to Vegas.

He had thought she would return after she had rested.

She looked rested.

He did not understand, and his old nature of striking out with hurtful words returned.

_Let's take a trip…_

Right.

She asked him to leave in the middle of a chaotic time at the lab.

Warrick had just been killed, and she wanted **him **to leave.

He couldn't abandon them….not like she had.

He was needed…there.

There was a decision to make.

Stay where it was safe and hide within himself again or venture out into the world with the only person he had ever loved and live…really live.

Despite her insistence, he would not budge.

The final straw was their discussion in his office.

_A relationship in stasis, withers…._

The words went around and around in her head.

_Was he trying to tell her it was over?_

_Was this his way of telling her he'd had enough of her dramatics?_

_Or was he scared…of being fully committed?_

Leaving Vegas the first time had been much harder than laying under a fire engine red Mustang or a walk in the desert.

Leaving Vegas the second time had been just as painful.

Only there was no note left behind that time.

She could not bring herself to do what she knew needed to be done until she was a safe distance with little chance of jumping ship and running back to the only man she had ever loved.

Sara Sidle had to let him go.

The whole time, the old saying kept running around in her head.

_If you love something, set it free._

_If it comes back to you, it's yours._

_If it doesn't, it never was._

Yeah, right.

How could she ever let go of a love that absolutely consumed her every waking moment?

She did know that she would do anything to make him happy **again.**

She knew she used to make him happy.

He had told her that much.

Sometimes holding on to a loved one makes us strong…but sometimes it is letting go.

Sara had to let go.

She had to muster every ounce of strength to send that video.

Grissom needed to know that it was okay for him to move on.

She needed Grissom to be happy even if it really meant letting him go to find someone else.

"Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all" was indicative to Grissom that Tennyson was a sadistic bastard.

He had pouted like a child and had even thrown a tantrum or two because he just didn't understand this thing called "love."

That is, until a certain woman, took him under her wing and explained the facts of life to him.

"Sometimes not choosing is a way of making a choice," Heather had said.

Well, hell, he just wanted to analyze it a few more times, run a few more tests before he gave Sara his conclusion.

He was a scientist, after all.

When she had left the video, it had knocked the air out of his lungs and sent him spiraling downward.

_The saddest thing in the world is loving someone who used to love you…_

He felt she had stopped loving him.

That, he just could not accept.

It hurt far worse than Warrick's death.

In her haste to leave Vegas, she had forgotten one thing.

Grissom mated for life.

There would be no other person for him.

He would remain faithful until his last breath.

Like Grissom, Sara felt the same.

There would never be anyone except Grissom.

It took him weeks, but he finally understood what Sara had been trying to do.

Of course, it didn't hurt that he was prodded by an ex dominatrix.

The choice was still there.

He reasoned.

He left his dog with Heather, resigned, and then left Vegas.

As he walked through the jungle, he tried to ease his nerves.

_Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go…_

Yes, he would have to remember to tell that to Sara and see if she would remember that it was a quote from T.S. Eliot.

Oh, how he wanted to kiss her.

_Begin with the end in mind…_

Yeah, that was another one he would have to share.

Would she remember Stephen Covey?

Surely, she would never guess that he actually read the book she gave him as a joke.

He wasn't sure whether it was a joke or not.

He had read it in fear that she was trying to tell him something about their relationship.

One look at Covey's book, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, and Grissom thought that, surely, she felt he was a failure in relationships.

He knew he had habits, and some of them were not good.

They had even discussed some of those habits immediately after her toothbrush appeared in his bathroom and never left.

Yeah, maybe she would be impressed that he had been paying attention.

Well**, trying** to pay attention was a more accurate description of his behavior.

He wiped his brow and breathed in the hot air.

He imagined he could smell the scent of lavender in the air.

His destination was almost in sight.

Gil Grissom was a changed man.

He had come to the jungle….for her.

She had turned, and there he was.

He stood there.

He hoped and prayed that she really didn't mean what she had said.

As he stood there with his small knapsack, he looked tired and anxious, but he didn't care.

He was there with **his **Sara.

She felt him long before she turned.

For a second she recalled another time so long ago when she had spoken after so many years apart.

He had recognized her voice.

"_I don't even have to turn around, Sara Sidle."_

She had dreamed of this moment too much and was fearful to let herself think of such things.

The expression on her face told him he was not too late.

And so, the healing began.

Oh, she had huffed a few times. She had even thrown a few things in his direction and stormed off into the jungle once or twice, but she would always return to **him**.

"**Him"** that waited in their tent.

"**Him"** that once or twice followed her into the jungle and kept a safe distance from objects that could be thrown.

"**Him" **that even threw a few harsh words in her direction.

They were…well, like any married couple.

Her hand twirled the gold band around her finger.

It had been sudden and a spur of the moment.

Well, sort of.

He had asked a **long **time ago, and she had accepted.

He had wanted to put a ring on her finger, and she had wanted to let him.

However, she had scurried out of town before they could make it official even though they had been married in their hearts a long time ago.

So why was she headed back without **him?**

Because Gil Grissom was happy, rested and finally his old self.

The last thing she wanted was to haul him back to the place that had gotten both of them off track.

Besides, it made sense for her to go.

Her grant was up, and she did not want to sign on for a longer period of time.

He, on the other hand, had just begun his grant and had several months remaining.

The phone call came from Greg.

It wasn't the first time he had called, but this was different.

He was venting.

Greg had been tactful in the past letting her know he was glad she was finally happy…with **him.**

Now, she could hear the frustration and sadness in his voice.

Another CSI had bit the dust.

Riley had left.

She had gotten another job offer with better hours and no dead bodies.

She had left without a goodbye.

Now, the team was not even a team, but rather bodies trying to cover graveyard.

They were scrambling to make sense at the mounting dead bodies.

Nothing was working.

Catherine was not Grissom.

Of course, Catherine was **not **Grissom.

There was only one Gil Grissom, and he was irreplaceable.

If she told Grissom, he would go back.

Sara knew this without a doubt.

Despite his abrupt departure, he would return if he felt the others needed him.

After all, they were still his family.

They were hers also.

That was why she was going back.

Sara and Grissom probably needed their friends as much as their former colleagues needed them.

They were family.

She would make the sacrifice.

She would do this for her husband and her family.

It was what families did, and she was learning a lot about what it meant to be a family.

Besides, she had felt driven out of Vegas one too many times by old ghosts that were now laid to rest.

So now, she was headed back.

Things were different now.

Sara Sidle was going back with her head up, her heart intact, and her spirit returned to an all time high.

There was nothing that Vegas could throw her way that she couldn't handle.

Grissom had finally made a decision about life.

He had chosen a life with Sara…without the lab.

The lab had been the center of many loud arguments.

He had come to the jungle to claim his "Jane", but she had never wanted him to leave the lab…for good.

When he had announced that he had left, she thought he had requested a leave of absence.

The moment he stated he had quit, she had stormed off into the jungle.

He had followed that time.

She had thrown huge branches and foliage into his face as he attempted to catch up with her.

It had been rather loud as she ranted at him.

She had never asked him to quit his job!

She had merely wanted him to get away for a while.

He was burning out.

It had to be his choice…like it had been hers.

"_You quit?" she spat._

"_I came here…for you," he had pleaded._

"_I never asked you to quit!"_

"_You wanted us to travel," he grumbled._

"_I wanted you to take time off. You were…you were barely hanging on after Warrick died. You needed to get away before the lab…before you self-destructed…like I almost did."_

"_You didn't," he countered._

"_Because I left."_

"_So did I."_

"_But it was…your life," she cried as she swiped at her face, trudging deeper and deeper into the jungle, trying to get some distance from him._

"_Sara! Sara, stop!" he yelled. "I'm too old and too tired to chase you."_

"_You're not old… you…are tired," she relented as she stopped, watching him dodge the last huge banana leaf._

"_I came because I wanted to be with you," he said as he looked at her smudged tear stained face._

"_I never…wanted you to have…I never wanted you to risk…your job…for me."_

"_Why not?" he asked. "You mean more to me than my career."_

_She gulped._

_Grissom smiled sadly as he looked around._

"_You have any idea where we are?" he asked._

_Sara glanced around. "We're lost."_

_Grissom held up his GPS. "Boy scouts have new toys."_

"_I used to date a boy scout," she replied._

_Both smiled._

"_I've missed you, Sara."_

"_I've missed you…us."_

"_Can we go back?" he asked._

_Sara brushed a piece of dirt from his face._

"_We can't go back," she whispered._

_He smiled, understanding the meaning behind her words._

"_Then let's move forward," he offered. "Not look back."_

_She pulled him into her arms as she kissed him._

_It was a sensual tantalizing kiss._

_He grinned. "I think I'm going to like living in the jungle."_

_He glanced over at some foliage and saw a huge butterfly._

"_You can collect specimens later, Bugman. Right now, you and I…and a very cold waterfall."_

"Do you want your snack? I love those kind of chips, but they only give you one bag."

She leaned back into her seat as the passenger continued to ramble.

She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply.

Already she missed the smell of the jungle and **him**.

God, she could not even say his name without bursting into tears.

She knew he needed this time.

She also knew she needed to make sure their family would be okay.

"_I'm going to fly home and see Hank. I'll get our stuff together and plan our next trip. You'll be home before you know it," she had announced._

_He had stood there in the tent they had called home for weeks, not saying a word as she packed away her belongings._

"_You could stay in Costa Rica," he almost begged._

"_You need to focus on your research, and I need to finish that paper if it's going to get published."_

_He glanced around the campsite._

_They were alone._

_The others had scattered the moment Sara had indicated she would be leaving._

_No one liked goodbyes and worse, she was leaving __**him **__behind._

_The two had been inseparable since his arrival, and they knew it would be a hard goodbye._

"_I don't understand," he said quietly._

"_My grant is over. I need to get back. Yours will be done in a few months, and then we will be together."_

"_I came here to be with you."_

"_You came here to work. You've never quit anything. The University will surely give you another grant once you've completed your research and written your paper," she urged._

"_You won't be here," he pouted._

_She almost came unglued by the sheer look of agony in his eyes, and she wondered if he had looked this way when he had come home to find she had left….again._

"_I'll be waiting in our house…for you…with Hank. I'll finish my paper, and then…we'll be ready for our next adventure. We'll leave together."_

"_I'll miss you," he admitted._

Sara wiped her eyes and purposely turned away from the ceaseless banter of the other passenger.

God, she missed **him.**

She gulped.

The plane was touching down.

Soon, she would waltz into the lab, and surprise her friends. She would spend the next several weeks going through the motions until her other half joined her.

Oh, she would let them see her happy.

She was happy.

She was happily married.

She would faithfully wait for his return this time.

She owed him this.

He had patiently waited for her.

He had sat through many sleepless days, listening to her voice on the other line as she told him how much she missed him. She could almost feel his smile through the phone during those moments.

He never seemed to believe that someone young and beautiful would ever love him.

She never seemed to believe that he would ever take a risk much less think she was beautiful.

She had never felt beautiful.

She did now.

Sara Sidle and Gil Grissom had come a long way.

Even though they were separated by distance, they were never apart.

True hearts never part.

"It was nice chatting with you," beamed the lady.

Sara grabbed her carry on and rushed off the plane.

Once she was secure inside a taxi, she texted her hubby.

_Landed safely…._

_Hurry home…_

_**We **__miss you!_

**Note from author:**

Sorry I have been away for so long but I am in the process of moving to another home and well, things are very chaotic. I hope to have another story out soon….

Take care!


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